Saturday, 23 May 2009

Godilocks and the 3 Bears

One fine afternoon, a girl named Godilocks went out into the woods out of curiosity. She was a lady with unmatched beauty and her hair was as shiny as a rim of a car and as smooth as 'laksa' slurps into one's mouth. So, as she was walking in the woods, she heard a melody that sounds so magical, sweet, mesmerizing, captivating, heart-melting, drop-dead gorgeous and the list could go on forever. Godlilocks followed the melody and tried to find the source but it was hard because she did not learn Physics and did not know sound travels everywhere due to diffraction. Suddenly, a man who dresses like Justin Timberlake appears in front of Godilocks and asks..

My beautiful and expensive lady that even Mastercard can't buy, what are you doing out here alone? It's very dangerous out here because there are wild animals like batman, spiderman, cicakman and even the joker. Do you want me to walk along with you to your destination to ensure you of your safety?

Godilocks then asked him sweetly, 'Your name you have not introduced and how sure am I that I can be protected from such beastly creatures? You are no more than a flimsy singer from a land that consumes dried cockroaches and seahorses...

My name is Melody, the SONG of all the hearts and souls in this wood. I may not look like a strong person, but trust me as I have friends calling me muscular and fit. One of them is Frankylicious, a bubbly high-pitched cannon emitter. Moreover, I have experience in boating in Dragon-I and was great Scout. So do not fear my lady for I shall protect you as an expensive mistress.

( Okay the author is back..I'm really sorry for the long delay. And so, the story continues)

Melody gave such a seducing persuasive speech that Godilocks had her sense tingling down her body. Melody had learnt to give a persuasive speech from a legenday prodigical teacher in the Ku Klux Klan Blutorworp University(KBU).

'I want to go to the library!' said Godilocks with such a cute expensive-pitched voice followed by cute gestures or rather just plainly acting cute. Melody responded to Godilocks cuteness by sounding cute too, but his voice chased away all the birds in the forest and made batman deaf.

Then, Melody a.k.a Justin Timberlake whistled to the woods and out came a mousedeer with wheels and pedals on it.

This is my car, a 'Kancil'. I had to go through an amazingly gruelsome and disgusting procedure to change this biological creature into a mechanical moving creature. Would you like to drive my Kancil to the library in the woods?

Well Godilocks agreed to drive the biological mechanical sympathatic kancil. Let's have a peek into Godilocks's mind:-

It has been a real long time since I sat on a moving thing. I've even forgotten how to start the engine. Melody was beside me. "It's written there," he said. So i saw the knob, "Hmm..", and i flicked it to the left, held it awhile, and the engine roared to life. Not bad.

Okay so there is a car in front of me. So i must... reverse? Which is the clutch? The left one. Hmm.. yes. Hold on. Which is the brake? This? My right leg was on the most right pedal. Wait, that's the 'oil', the middle one is the brake... right?

"Yes...", Melody nodded boringly.

Okay! So this is the brake, this is the accelerator, the clutch. First gear, no, wait, reverse gear, let's go!

The car slid back, slowly. Okay! Now to stop it....

Vvrroooomm!!

"BRAKE!! Faster brake!", Melody screamed shouted and sang. The machine was uncontrollable! It was moving back, so quickly! Blood drained from my face. Melody, noticing it, swiftly pulled the hand-brake straight up. The car came to a halt.

We looked back. It was only inches away from the three blind mice. I laughed.
"Oops, sorry! It was supposed to be the middle pedal.." I stuck my tongue out.

However, suddenly the car slid back and the 3 blind mice were squashed into licorice bootlaces. Melody suffered tears of anguish and started to sing to Godilocks

Its too late to apologize...It's too late...ooh ooh ooh, It's too late to apologize....It's too late.
Then, both of them looked behind them and there was a building behind them. The building looks cosy and looks like a library. So Melody wished Godilocks goodbye and wished her well in her studies. Godilocks walks into the house, and asks if anybody is home. Little did she know that the 3 bears went out jogging in the morning to lose fat as the Gingerbread man said that the bear's arms looked like tofu. Those words pierced the hearts of the Bear family smashing their image into pieces.
She then saw a rack of books in the living room. The first book she took out was entitled "The Smelly Economy of the woods". Aparrently the author's name was Eww. Disgusted at the book, Godilocks took out another book entitled "Lions are from Mars, Lioness are from Venus". Godilocks learnt that one should never call an angry expensive passenger in the car a Lioness. Godilocks likes the third book alot. It is entitled "The wonders of Sarawak".

After reading for about 2hours, she decided to rest. So Godilocks went to the bedroom upstairs. There were 3 beds in the bedroom. One bed looked very hard, another very fluffy and the last one looked like it's for a kid. Well, I am sure most of us jump onto our beds when we want to go to sleep. Godilocks did the same on the first bed and she broke her spine because the bed was made of concrete. So she went to the second bed. She jumped on the bed and bounced straight to the ceiling and made a hole in the roof because the bed was very springy. At last, Godilocks went to the third bed and slept comfortably.

While Godilocks was sleeping the Bears came back from their jogging. They were surprised to find their front door open. (Before I continue with my story, let me introduce three bears) The first bear is Papa Bear. Papa bear dyed his fur on his head yellow colour and is very particular with the tidyness of his bed. If some 'Tom, Dick, or Harry' were to sit on Papa Bear's bed, Papa Bear would grate, shred, stew, roast, steam, boil and lastly double boil, that person with ginseng. One of Papa Bear's victims is the Joker. Next, I would like to introduce Mama Bear. Mama bear can speak German and likes football very much. However, Mama bear has one big problem. Mama bear is often being chased by ninja turtle and is always on the run. But Mama Bear is a very nice bear. The last bear is Babe Bear. Babe Bear is very cute, but often gets into trouble. The fur on his head is lighter in colour than the other parts of his fur because he washes his hair in the washing machine. But his voice is very much complimented by lots of teachers!

So, as the 3 bears went into the house they were very cautious. But Babe Bear went up to the room to change. As he went to the room, he saw Godilocks sleeping on his bed! Being very furious, he straight away accused Godilocks of juvenile delinquency and sexual harassment because Snow White, his Physics teacher taught him to do so.
Godilocks was very surprised by the shock and woke up from her dream. Mis Haras, Godilocks mother is calling Godilocks for breakfast. So Godilocks dressed up,packed her bag and drove her Proton Wira to college for her afternoon class.




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